Awesomeness at 50. Celebrating my half century today!
(and being cool in my own skin).
My goodness itโs here and Iโm okay. I made it! Iโm the same person that I was 20, 30, 40 years agoโฆ.but I have to say, only a better, more refined and updated model. ๐
To think of all the ups and downs, and good and bad struggles in my life and to have mastered them all and be where I am today gives me these goose bumps and shivers through my core. I canโt imagine living my last 50 years any other way and Iโm very grateful for all of my lessons and โteachersโ that have come graciously into my life.
I feel GREAT! Better than ever!
50 is Fabulous!
50 is Liberating!
50 is knowing who I am and to not be afraid to be it.
50 is the ultimate in Feminine Energy power.
50 is totally SEXY and free.
50 gives me the power โฆ.to be exactly WHO I NEED to be.
There were times of fear and loneliness when I was a โsingle momโ and it was for such a long period of time (so it seemed) that I questioned myself. I was very hard on myself that I wasnโt ‘good enough’. I questioned my role as the Erinnโs mom, as the most significant role I could ever have had bestowed upon me, to be best role model and unselfishly try to be the person my daughter needed me to be. It probably heightened my level of being an over-achiever and accomplish what I have to date with my family by opening Lettuce Love Cafeย and our vegan and gluten-free bakery called,ย Kellyโs Bake Shoppe and my website too, not to mention a few other businesses in the mix. These were hard lessons. Erinn gave me this beautiful gift of allowing me to be her mom and for me to humbly grow and mature in that role of parenting.
This gift I was given (with Erinn as my teacher), of living life as passionately and authentic as I possibly could, I now got to put into ย my heart and pass on to others. Erinn has now also embarked on her own personal journey in life and has acquired the most amazing, inspiring, loving boyfriend and if I could have possibly ever chosen one for her, it would be Michael. He is just the most intuitively, compassionate guy around. She is a very lucky girl.
Erinn and I are just beginning our journey together in the business world โ yes, this is just the tip of the iceberg – and I canโt wait to see what else is in store for us. I respectfully adore her and everything she stands for. It has been my greatest pleasure to watch her grow. xo
Meeting Kenย wasย like the sun, moon and the stars all collaboratively aligned to bring Ken and I together and by doing so, it brought out the BEST in both of us. This was a match made in perfection. From the first day we met, we continually brainstormed our dreams together and he instilled a belief in me that there was nothing I couldnโt do. What a powerhouse I became and I lived my vision and undying passion morning, noon and night. I decided I needed to be a leader in peopleโs lives and show them that change can happen when you really want it.ย He really was the catalyst that opened ME up to change and to be the woman I needed to be. Everyone else up until then gave me the โlessonsโ but Ken brought out the power in me. Somehow he nurtured the very thing I needed to unleash ME and soar. Iโm so grateful to this guy for what I have accomplished in my life and where I am today. I love you Ken. xo
With Erinn, Ken and now Mike too, as a โFamily and Family Businessโ, Iโve realized that there is nothing more I need on this planet. We have successfully made ourselves into this very cool (atypical) family unit or entity and it just gives me so much joy every day. Absolute, utter JOY.
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I wanted to share a bit about what Iโve learned over these wonderful 50 years about what I think are the most important lessons to me. These pivotal โwake-upโ turning points for me that were instrumental in making me shine and become the woman I needed to become. These points are also still works in progress.
The first thing we need to understand and really believe is that we are all on this path together. A path that we all lovingly share and there is no separateness. There is no right or wrong. There is space for all of us to grow and one of the biggest blessings we can bestow upon ourselves is the blessing of patience and to know we are all learning to be the best we can be, as fast as we can and that there is no โfinish lineโ. Lifeโs lessons never end.
I believe the most important thing we can do for ourselves is to forgive ourselves.ย Deep down forgiveness that will make you cry with the kind and loving words you say to yourself. You are allowed to be not ‘perfectโ (who is anyway?). We are so hard on ourselves every day with how we look, how we act, how we are judged by others, how someone reacts to us and we feel hurt or guilt when we disappoint him or her, how we live our life unhappy and not true to who we are. Just maybe the first thing to do on this path to change is to say itโs okay for them to be unhappy and or disapproving of us and that you give yourself permission to be you and accept how we look, accept your beliefs, accept how we feel, and forgive yourself and detach from the guilt and fear and other negative beliefs that weigh us down and stops us from achieving what we really want.
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“THIS is Freedom. To forgive and love yourself and allow the real you to shine through is very powerful.”
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We can easily stay locked up inside our minds with turmoil and strife and beat ourselves up with harsh words and guilt and we donโt even know we are saying 99% of the time itโs so engrained in our subconscious. It might sound like this: โYouโre not good enoughโ โYouโve gone and made him angry againโฆlook what youโve doneโ โDonโt bother doing that, youโre not smart enough to do thatโ โHeโll leave you any way, just like every other guy hasโ. The list can go on and on. What Iโm saying simply to do is to drop the stories of what people may think, drop the judgments towards ourselves, stop feeling the guilt and other obligations to have them approve of us and become โloveโ.
To be kind to oneself, it might go something like this:
โI forgive you ____ (your name) for feeling guilty towards upsetting dad. What HE is judging me about is none of my business. Iโm really okayโ
โI forgive you _____ (your name) for disappointing my wife today. What my wife says harshly to me is none of my business. Iโm really okayโ
โI forgive ______(your name) for not eating right today. I will love ME and feed me right starting now.โ
The pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect or to act a certain way and laugh a certain way and to PLEASE others a certain way is crippling and really, we instantly lose our authenticity of who WE are because we change. Thatโs what breeds internal resentment and unhappiness towards ourselves.
“Itโs not what I think about ME. Itโs really NOT MY story at all”
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When we donโt live authentically and become what we think others want us to be, we end up resenting ourselves. This is where cancers, chronic diseases and other immune disorders will show up. They have all been bred in this toxic environment we create that are perfect for disease but uninhabitable for normal healthy cellular development. Iโve seen it and read about it many times over and found a common thread is the โunlovingโ of ourselves in certain areas in our lives that can manifest illnesses including cancer. (Iโd love to expand about that in my book)
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“All the stories and judgments Iโve experienced from others about me over the years, that have hurt me deeply, are all the opinions that THEY have labeled me with. Itโs their judgment”
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Somehow weโve all learned to live and breathe the stories from othersโ opinions and words every day and feel hurt, anger, resentment, sadness and sometimes deep despair and loneliness from hurt and isolation. I became disappointed in me that I didnโt live up to their expectations. We all carry this baggage around. Can you imagine being on your deathbed with this thought: โI wish I had the courage to live my life true to myself, not the life others expected of meโ?
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โWhat others think about me is NONE of MY business”
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At 50, Iโm saying HERE I AM! This is MY life. Watch out world for a Kelly that is not going to stop because I need to please someone or that I may disappoint another or someone may not like the way I eat or walk or talk or liveโฆ.. I want to inspire others with my story. Dare to be different. My story is about changing our lives for the better and bring in more joy, happiness and authenticity.
THIS is what 50 means to me: Being very cool in my own skin.
Give yourself permission to PLAY bigger with all your awesomeness. Itโs your obligation to live up to your calling and become your authentic self. xo
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Are you living your life yet,
7 Comments
Kelly…one of the best passages i’ve ever read…wow…growth is huge and life’s road never ends ….it just keeps going and going..thank you for sharing your thoughts and reminding me of what i’m here for:)
LOVE This Mom!!!
Like I said, You’re more beautiful and radiant than ever!
Happy 50!! ๐
xoxo
What can I say…I get the best of both worlds! I have a beautiful young looking and young at heart wife who inspires me to follow her footsteps and live out my life in gratitude. What a deal that is!
From one lucky guy.
Ken Childs
Kelly,
This is a beautiful and inspiring post! Thank you for writing it! I plan on saving it to my favourites so I can read it once a week to remind myself what I need to keep practicing ๐
Thanks again!
PS. I texted my mom to make sure she reads this post!! ๐ Enjoy it mom! xo
Kelly,
Truly you do make 50 look Hot!! And all you need to remember is that everything you need, is already inside of you! Thank you Kelly, for being such an amazing teacher and an incredible leader! This is by far my favourite post your written. It’s something that I will be able to use for a very long time, until one day I can make this life look as easy as you do!
Love,
Michael ~
Hi Kelly,
Thank you for sharing this! You are an amazing person….thank you for making the world a better place, thank you for your inspirational words!
Happy belated birthday!
Sincerely,
Cathy (Halifax – Mary Brodie’s friend & one of your big fans!)
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